Short post about the main lessons, that I learned during this long and amazing year. The concept of insight means something that stroke your mind at some point, may be an idea that you used to know, but totally forgot in the totally busy schedule of the life. Not to forget the diamond thoughts, this year I bought a small notebook, where I tend to write a couple of lines to keep the most amazing things in memory. Believe me or not, but this is the only way to reuse your insights later, to share them or to use them to write a book in the future! What I really like about the insights, as they are personal – adjusted for you, short – several sentences not to make that a burden, striking and amazingly powerful. Most of my insights were born during the communication with people. People have much to say, and some of their ideas are diamonds that you have to notice. So here are my diamond-insights:
- Clarity in our mind is the result of hard work of answering unsolved questions. Unless you dont resolve what are your values, your ethics, your preferences in life you will be blown much by the winds of people, who know what they want. That is why it is worth asking yourself and discussing with other people your picture of the world and to establish the most vital rules of your life. Rules created by you! It is very exciting journey to make that list of rules, that you do your best to follow. No country would ever survive without the set of laws, the same applies to our individual life. Rules can express as well the things that you will not ever do in your life: “hit the child”.
- We can not learn from people, unless we are tuned to hear something good from them. That is why many people listen so attentively the speech of famous and successful people and pay much less attention to the others. Not fair, is not it. It means that we decide in advance the level up to which we perceive the information: weather we are ready to be engaged fully in the conversation or not. I tend to remember those diamond thoughts from people around me, knowing that everyone has something to say very precious, you just have to wait a bit.
- Emotional intellect can only be the result of communication with people. If you want to be more comfortable with people, get to know new people. After knowing thousands of people, you better understand what to expect from the 1001, as we tend to be similar, be slightly groupped according to our values. Emotional intellect is the ability to interpret the notice what is happening inside and outside with other people and to interpret that correctly.
- Systems where people are united by the common interest and bring support is the best way to grow. Being involved in the community with similar interests can increase your speed significantly, even if you think you can not proceed anymore. It is called pushing the limits. This year Galiya Berdnikova business-woman community “ZBU” has given me a lot of inspiration and tools to grow. Galiya is the perfect example of the woman who can make things clear in her mind and business. I really recommend you to check her russian blog http://womenbz.ru/.
- The last thing to do is to start accusing people in case of things going wrong. In most of the cases they are doing the best they can and your task is to help them help you by listening of their version and situation explanations. We are expecting much and sometimes are not ready to hear the rules and conditions of real business. I am using this rule on a regular basis and almost never get angry when the things are not going in the way, I expected. I have to confess that in the beginning of January after laser eye operation, I was very nervous not to get the desired results and expressed my unsatisfaction to the doctors of the clinic. In half of the year, the doctors turned out to be right and my vision has stabilized.
- Judgements of other people is mostly the result of your childhood traumas. We see in other people, that we see in ourselves. E.g., I can notice people being busy, as at times I can be busy myself. The word busy can be replaced by any other characteristics, like “selfish”, “rude”, etc. So your judgements of other people can show you what are the things to work with and what you dont really accept yourself.
- Group all the work, that is similar. This year, I had a trouble with 2 projects and was trying to reserve couple of hours per each during the day. This did not work for me, as getting into the process as well takes time. Later I have changed the strategy towards doing 1 project for several days and noticed a tremendous results, as I had actually time to go deeper and to make a progress. The same applies to replying messages, email. In addition, I started to do hackatons with my students where couple of days they have dedicated only to my project and the results were much more prominent and visible.
- Walking before the sleep for 1 hour was the best practice I could imagine. During this 1 hour I could remember and reflect on the things happened, the things to consider on the fresh air. My skin was super happy, my body and my mind was cleaned during this 1 hour of reflection to be ready to sleep. More here in this article: http://muzaluiza.ru/making-commitments-as-a-way-to-introduce-a-habit/
- Deepest and nicest relations require mutual giving from both sides. It is all that simple if both people are mature. Just be ready to give as much as you can, but dont try to require much. You all know that situation when the wife can ask “Do you love me?” 10 times per day, but that seems like pulling the love out of the husband, rather than giving what you can. We can not get much more than we give, so dont be surprised by the shortage of love, just make a first step yourself. “Buddha and Love” by Ole Nedal (http://buddhaandlove.com/) was my favourite book about relationships this year, very deep and budhist approach is really deeply caring.
- We can break promises given to ourselves, but much more difficult to break promises given to others, especially whom we respect. I gave a couple of promises this year to my dearest friends to introduce new habits and I could introduce my walking routine and improve eating habits. Losing weight by 5 kilos up to 55 did not work for me for 3 years until I gave a promise.
- Most of the people dont need advices, they need listening and us telling nice stories, joking and smiling. Relaxation is number one in the modern world. By listening and keeping our advices silent, we can heal people, told Thich Nhat Hanh to Opra : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lyUxYflkhzo
- Simplify all the routines, that can be done without much of your thinking. This way you can give the space to something more meaningful. My morning routine consists of simple meals, shopping usually takes place once per week. I never spend more than 1 hour on cleaning as prefer to keep my room clean by default. May be checking out the clothes takes more time, but I combine that with educational videos on the background.
- One person can be wrong. Three people are less probable to be wrong at the same time. Be ready to share and explain your situation, ask advice from people, who succeded, and this way you can be much more steady in life and avoid bad cases. Being able to discuss your case with other appropriate people is a blessing and together you can always go further than alone. Check the concept of MasterMinds here http://www.thesuccessalliance.com/what-is-a-mastermind-group/.
- Introduce a practice of writing down your short insights and you will have an opportunity to go back and retrive your learned wisdom whenever you want.
What are your insights this year?